Embodiment (wtf does that mean?!)

Doing the inner work is 10% getting to the source of the thing—seeing it, clearing it, healing it—& 90% embodying it in your life.

me in all my cute-little-hunchback-embodied glory + concord, ma + may 2021

I’ll explain.

I’ve been super emotional lately (and by lately I mean months). If you know me, you might be asking how is it different than my usual? And if you know me very well, you’ll understand what I’m about to say. While I’ve always been a highly sensitive & expressive person (communication isn’t a weak area for me), I haven’t always been forthcoming about it. Or I should say, accepting of it. Big feelings make people uncomfortable & therefore me extremely uncomfortable (because making other people feel anything other than positive/amazing/validated is a kind of horror I never want to know. As a healer, I want to heal. Always. But another blog post for another day 🙃).

I realized not only having emotions, but also giving them permission to breathe & be in their fullest expression, is important to my embodiment as a being. I used to have emotions all the time; pack them into a neat little box so no one could see & sometimes unpack that box when I was alone in my room (but oftentimes shoving that box under my bed & pretending it didn’t exist). Every now and again that box would burst open because it couldn’t possibly hold anymore. I’d have an emotional outburst. The worst part wasn’t the shame & embarrassment—it was the onlookers’ shock & confusion about it, like they didn’t recognize me.

That is what not honoring yourself looks like—when the people you love look at you like a stranger because you haven’t allowed yourself to be seen in your fullest extent of being.

Oof.

I went to psychic school to learn how to give myself permission to show up in this world as completely & totally me.

Embodiment is about putting your money where your goddamn, beautiful mouth is. It’s about putting into practice everything you’ve learned. I spent 6 years looking inward—clearing energy in my space that wasn’t mine, healing the trauma & wounds, and bringing in more of my authentic truth. I spent 6 years consciously getting to know myself. You could also say I spent 6 years with my head down.

Now I’m out in the world, chin up. Because that’s the only way I’m going to embody the work.

Energy is always testing you. Whatever you’re working on in spirit—be it relationships, communication, money, creative endeavors—you best believe it will manifest in real life situations, in body (see what I did there? 😜).

So let’s say I’m working on my money issues & my goal is to move from an energy of scarcity into an energy of abundance. To be able to create & have all I hope, wish, & desire for myself in this lifetime. I’ve done the work. I’ve looked at my programming (etc) around money & gotten to the core of why I don’t think I deserve abundance. I get to a place of acceptance, love, & forgiveness for that part of myself & I let it go. Then my car breaks down. Very real emotions start creeping up in my body—anxiety, fear, worry, **scarcity. I start asking myself & stressing about how am I going to pay for it. I now have two choices; I can choose the path of believing I don’t have enough & the repairs are going to put me in the hole OR I can choose the path of trusting that I am enough.

That’s what embodiment is.

Basically what I’m trying to say is this: you can look at & process your internal muck all you want, but if you are unable to show up in the world muck-y, then none of it will be real.

**remember: if you feel like no one in your life truly “sees” you, turn inward. Is it possible you aren’t showing up? If so, show the fuck up my friend. Now the real work will begin because 90/10. Being in this world is 90% handling other peoples’ shit (emotions, trauma, programming, insecurities, you name it) that literally has nothing to do with you. So show up in the world & have forgiveness for your muck. The muck is where the magic is 🌙✨

& chin 👏🏼up 👏🏼

Like this ^^^

[a beautiful embodied “mess”]

Because it leads to this ^^^

[I promise]

💙

Recommended [growth period] listening [songs that get me into my body rn aka not saying you should have a dance party or anything but ya you should probably have a dance party🥂]: